Space, It Sucks!

Growing up in the shadow of Star Trek you cannot say the word Space without tagging on, the Final Frontier! But I’m here to tell you that Space is not a final frontier, but a giant magnet that has sucked thousands, nay, millions of commands, instructions, and prompts from parents to their children into the black hole of Space.

There is a vast void between a parent and a child when it is more than three feet or an arm’s length from a child to a parent.  How many times have I seen parents give an instruction to a child from across the room? At times the child purposely pretends not to hear or they ignore the instruction. Sometimes they are busily engaged in their own actives and do not really “hear” the instruction.  You know the next scene. The parents next will yell across the room “I TOLD you to …..”  

See I told you Space, sucked those words right out of the air, zip, gone, right over the child’s head faster than the speed of light. This can happen on a simple instruction such as “Come eat” to correcting a serious behavior of the child’s.  Anything over three feet one will have to raise their voice to gain the child’s attention.  How much more effective would the parent be if they closed the gap within an arm’s length?  All humans tune out others if they perceive someone is not serious in the conversation or communication process. Think of the office. If the boss is always calling out instructions across the office, through a closed door or from around the corner how much control does he have over the conversation or instructions in the office.  However if he walks up to the desk of an employee, or asks them to come to his desk and gives an instruction all will listen.  If these skills are so important in the office why wouldn’t they be important in the home?

I’m advocating close the gap. If you close the gap there are two other principles of child rearing that will come into play. YOU will lower your voice and you have to be proactive in giving the instruction. You can’t just close the gap without being pro-active. Most of parenting today is in reactive mode. The scene usually goes something like: they do, you yell, they ignore, you jump up and stomp to them, they whine, you yell and scream . . .  and so it goes.

I know, I know this process requires work, but I don’t think the words “train up a child” can come with the word work not being associated with train.  I can’t image training in any other vocation or sport activity without work. Yep it’s all pro-active. The gold medal does not fall in your lap by sitting on the couch and the gold medal for parenting doesn’t happen by sitting on the couch and talking across the room to your child.  Darn you have to fight the black hole of Space and it begins with going to the child or having the child come to you. This is pro-active and it’s called training.